Interview With Antinoos and Eurymakos

I sat down with the leaders of the suitors to chat, shortly before Telemakhos journeyed off to Pylos and Sparta. Here's what they had to say.


Emma Broder: Why is it that you want Penelope's hand in marriage?
Eurymakhos: It's obvious that that shrimp Telemakhos is unfit to rule.
Antinoos: Yeah, plus have you even seen Penelope? What a babe.
EB: Huh. Well, do you think Telemakhos ever will be able to govern?
A: Not a chance. He's such a wimp, he'll never man-up enough to be king.
EB: And what of Odysseus, do you think he'll ever return?
E: Nah, he's dead.
A: Why does everyone here think he will just suddenly re-appear and take over? Like, everyone died in that war, why not Odysseus, whats so great about him? He's not freaking immortal.
EB: Only one of your entire group can actually marry Penelope, who will it be?
A and E: Me.
EB: It seems there's some disagreement here between you two. How will you decide who gets Penelope in the end?
A: Well, I don't wanna get all big headed here, but I think I could take on the rest of her suitors in a battle to the death, so I'm still pretty confident it'll be me.
E: Not if I kill you first, pig face.
A: Oh its on.
EB: Um...Thank you for the interview.